Clueless

Akpos gets married and on his wedding night he calls his father for some tips on what to do (because he has never been with a woman before).

AKPOS: so what do i do first?
AKPOS' FATHER: take her clothes off and lay her on the bed.

Two minutes later Akpos on the phone again "she is naked and in bed, what do I do now?" His father can't believe what he is hearing.

AKPOS' FATHER: take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her

After another two minutes poor Akpos is on the phone again.

AKPOS: dad I'm naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?

His dad's patience is now running thin so he says, "shit son, do I have to spell everything out for you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees Good night!" Just when the old man starts snoring, Akpos is on the phone again.

AKPOS: ok dad, i have my head in the toilet bowl what do i do next?
AKPOS' FATHER: DROWN YOURSELF YOU BLOODY IDIOT!