Marriage Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset."What's the matter, buddy ?" asks the bartender. "It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back...

A man asks his wife about a mysterious bag of beans in the kitchen. MAN: Honey where did this bag of beans come from?WIFE: Honey I'm sorry please forgive me...I've been unfaithful...

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at...

As soon as the newly-weds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away."How did everything go?" her mum asked."Oh, mother,"...

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "Excuse me, I was too busy looking for my wife.""What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm...

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."The pharmacist...

George looked over the backyard fence and admired Fred's wife while she sunbathed topless.The next day, George corners his neighbour on the driveway saying, "I saw your wife...

Akpos was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want...

A man had 8 black kids, then his wife delivered the 9th and alas the baby was white! The man felt that his wife betrayed him after 8 kids.Due to complications during the delivery...

A man drinks at the pub until they close.He stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time and falls again. He figures he'll crawl outside and get...