Family Jokes

WIFE: Darling, why are you home this early wearing such a long face?HUSBAND: I had a terrible day. I lost all my colleagues today at work.WIFE: Jesus Christ! what happened?HUSBAND...

This was a conversation between a Police inspector and a man:MAN: I lost my wife. She went shopping and hasn't come backINSPECTOR: What is her height?MAN: I never checked....

A husband and his wife had a quarrel...WIFE: Tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out from the other.HUSBAND: Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes...

My daddy was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I am five." He said, "When I was your age, I was six."

Akpos' elder brother, Kwame, travelled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpos, their momand their dog, kelly.Last week, Kwame called from London to know how they're doing....

The following conversation ensued between a 70-year-old man and his wife:OLD MAN: Do you get jealous when I chase after young girls?WIFE: No. Even dogs chase after cars but they...

SON: Dad, I need your help for my science homework. DAD: OK.SOME: What is photosynthesis? DAD: Hmm... why not as the photographer when he comes in to take our picture.

FATHER: How did you get on with your maths test today?SON: I only got one sum wrong.FATHER: Well done. How many sums were there?SON: Twelve.FATHER: So you got eleven right?SON: No...

The telephone rings late in the night...HUSBAND: If it's for me then say that I am not at home.Wife answers, "He is at home."HUSBAND: What the hell?!WIFE: It was for me.

I got home early from work one day and my teenage daughter came home looking rather angry. "What's wrong dear?" I asked. "I've just done sex education in school today, Dad! You...