Medical Jokes

A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.Akpos, I am going hunting tomorrow. I dont want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the...

An old man was bitten by a dog. After several weeks, he became violently ill. The doctor examined him and said, "You have been bitten by a rabid dog and you are dying of...

An unconscious man was rushed into a clinic by his brother and the following conversation ensued DOCTOR: What's wrong with him?BROTHER: He just slumped!The doctor checked the...

A pregnant woman was involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she...

DERMATOLOGIST: Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples.GIRL: Wow! That's great! Why?DERMATOLOGIST:...

A doctor wrote on his clinic signboard, "Any treatment is $500 and if we cannot treat you, we will pay you $1000."Wanting the $1000 for himself, A guy named Akpos came to the...

First year UNILAG medical students were attending their very first anatomy class. They all gathered around the table which had a real dead body on it. The Professor, Mr. Akpos,...

DOCTOR: Do you exercise daily to keep healthy? AKPOS: Yes doctor... I play football and tennis daily.DOCTOR: Good! How long do you play?AKPOS: I play till the battery on my phone...

Akpos is terribly overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time...

MAN: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin?DOCTOR: Get a Virginity test kit.MAN: What's that?DOCTOR: Get a can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a...